Comfort feedback: looks delicious, feels good, but may come back to bite!

We talk a lot about the fear of giving feedback holding us back.

But the truth is: most of us actually do speak up: we just say what’s easy to hear.

This "Comfort" feedback sounds kind and feels supportive.

And to be clear, sometimes it’s the right thing to do: a one-off reassurance, a moment of love, and a way to offer care.

But when does it become a dysfunctional pattern and replace honesty with avoidance?

Comfort feedback can be more harmful than saying nothing at all.

It doesn’t just fail to challenge flawed thinking or false beliefs—it openly enables and reinforces them.

And once you start giving it, it’s hard to stop.

How do you suddenly tell someone the truth after feeding them tasty little lies for months?

Comfort feedback does harm in two ways:

😒 First, it keeps people stuck.

Instead of challenging a limiting belief, we reinforce it.

– Friend: “Nothing ever works out for me.”

– You: “You’re right. They don’t appreciate you.”

It feels comforting, but short-term relief leads to long-term pain.

😒 Second, it enables harmful decisions.

We protect one person’s ego, and others pay the price.

– Leader: “I’ve raised tariffs. The global economy will adjust.”

– Advisor: “You’re standing your ground. Finally, someone with backbone.”

No pushback. No challenge. Just loyal complicity, pushing damage downstream.

But clarity? That’s the actual act of care (and courage).

Because when the truth gets blurred, someone always pays the price.

Let’s be kind.

But let’s also be clear.